The Struggle…

“This whole 24 pounds in six weeks is horseshit!” I find myself saying this way too many times, mostly when standing on my scale in the morning. 

It is taking me forever to reach this goal for the doctor wants me at. I just have ten more pounds to shed before the 25th of this month. If you ask that I am stressed lately? My answer will be YES!! The stress has to do with many factors but the biggest is having this period. I have had the red river of death last since I had surgery 3 months ago with just one week as a break from it. I can say honestly I am miserable. Lately I have been moody, emotional, and horny wrapped up in one ball. I cried to a Ke$ha( I think thats how you spell her name now days) song the other day for no reason what-so ever (WTF Kaylee, seriously?) . Well I went to my OB tried not to cry to her too much because of my frustration but it looks like after multiple tests that switching birth controls will be the best option right now. I gained knowledge from visiting the OB one is that I have a beautiful uterus and two that since I am loosing weight its both the birth control and my body that is causing this uncontrollable bleeding I am having.

Okay other than my womanly problems I am having right now, the other struggle I have been having is getting all my calories in. I am suppose to get in between 800-1,000 calories a day and I have been stuck at 500-650 calories a day. I am getting the 70 grams of protein a day in and roughly 64oz of water in as well, it has caused many headaches trying to figure out what I need to eat. This stall I believe is caused by the calorie intake and the 3 month period of death. Something everybody who knows me should be proud of is the fact I actually set up a work out schedule and sticking to it. I walk a mile for three days. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I take 25 minutes and walk on the treadmill at the speed 3.0. I am following what the fitness lady said at Sparrow what to do. So after three weeks I will increase the time and the incline, in another three times I will increase the time and the speed. Little steps at a time, but I can honestly tell you that it took FOREVER to get on the treadmill. I stared at it forever like it was a sick twisted thing, but after I put on some jams I am getting used to it.

With the food, lately I have been craving things I normally do not eat such as; grapes, tomatoes, grits, greek yogurt, and bananas. All of those foods I never would eat and now I LOVE! Also I am in love with the fact my hair is growing longer than it ever has been! Goal for summer is to have long enough hair to put up in a bun or a pony tail.

My body is changing and it has taken me up till now to really look at the changes. My boobs are a little smaller but rounder, my belly is getting smaller, and my legs are too. My back is slimming down , and I can stand sideways and see the major change. I feel better about myself even though I did then but I want to get up and put makeup on each day. I want to look prettier each day, and I love that. I still don’t care what others have to say about me but at least I can say my inner self-esteem is getting better.

My grandpa!

The one man I wish who was here physically to this day to watch me is my grandpa, just to say “hey, old man I am doing it!” He told me multiple times “I love you too much, to watch you end up like me” and I miss his phone calls and also his hugs the most. I long for my grandpas hugs many times because they where the type of hugs that could at least solve any issue for the time being. But I know he is looking down from Heaven and helping me.

Well I am hoping to shed these last ten pounds so I can meet the goal that the doctor has set out for me on the 25th. I am keeping my head held high!

Love,

Kaylee

This is me 80 pounds lost total

This is me right now 80 pounds lost total

24 Pounds in Six Weeks…

So my follow up with my surgeon was last Thursday 1/9/2014

My surgeon was thrilled that I met my goal that they had put forth the last time I met them, which was the 16 pounds. I still have some stuff to work on like getting to 800-1,000 calories when I eat, as of right now I only get 500-600 calories which is a huge improvement from just out of surgery, but I need to eat to loose weight ( I know that sounds wrong, but its true trust me) So the new goal is 24 pounds in six weeks.

24 pounds in six weeks is a lot, but I know I can do it! It breaks down to an average 4 pounds per week too loose. I know that getting off my butt and actually exercising will help a lot. So I am making a new plan since the mall walking sucks, too much planning. So my new plan that will be lived out is as following. I love to dance, so I might go out at least once a week most likely on the weekend and go dancing. I went this Saturday and had a blast! And since I have lost weight I have more energy and courage to actually go out on the dance floor. Also I am going to start swimming from Wednesday through Friday when I get home from work. Classes start up on Monday and I have both a Monday and Tuesday class to which I wont be able to swim because the pool will be close when I get out. So for dancing the plan is a good hour or two then swimming 60 minutes. This 24 pounds will shed!

This pass weekend was a blast! Saturday I rode up with my parents to take back my sister Sarah to CMU. While up there I got to see Jeremy which is always makes my day brighter and brings a smile to my face. The food sucked where we ate but I haven’t laughed so hard in a while it was such a great time. Then after seeing Jeremy off and dropping short stack back to her dorm went and donated money to the casino. I lost the whole $40 that I had, was hoping to at least win something but that was a fail. After getting out of the casino and smelling like a ash tray we ventured back home and then I got around to go out and celebrate my friend Jessica’s 24th birthday. Her party was held at Harem night club here in Lansing. Now I haven’t seen these set of ladies since the last birthday party, so when walking in they all flipped seeing how much weight I have lost. It almost got me to start crying, but I didn’t and had a blast dancing till my feel decided to tell me its enough. It was such a great night!

Lately I have been getting messages and texts from friends who are interested in the surgery I had and how much it costs. I understand that this is a general curiosity but it has been getting to me. This surgery is not a problem solver, it is a lifetime tool. Yes, you will loose weight faster than normal but your lifestyle has to change to make it work. I fight the battle each day with wanting to drink a glass of pop, log all my food, exercise, eating sweets, and being honest with myself. You have to seriously look at yourself and determine if this surgery is best for you, and it took me a good year to come to grips that I need this. My journey will not be the same as the next person. You can’t do the surgery to make yourself look “good” do it for your health and overall well being. The one thing that bothers me the most is all the questions on how much it costs. I can’t answer that, because I don’t hold all the answers. My surgery was completely different from the next person, and I had insurance. If you are interested in this surgery please contact your doctor or call Sparrow Weight Management for more information. I feel very honored that I have inspired so many of my family and friends. It warms my heart and makes me smile.

Alright to wrap this up! 24 pounds in six weeks will put me at 306 and 94 pounds lost total. I am excited for this!

Love,

Kaylee

2014 Baby!!

Welcome new year of AWESOME!

I have this feeling that this year will be my year to do awesome things! I have so much planned and so much I want to accomplish this year, that I know it will be done! Before the new year I had an appointment with the surgeon and we both agreed that before the 8th of January that the goal is to loose 16 pounds that would put me at 330. Well today I stepped on the scale and I have (drum roll please) lost the 16 pounds and I am 330! Oh yea!! I proudly did the happy dance half asleep this morning! Now my appointment is tomorrow (Jan. 9th) and cannot wait to see what they say! (High fives to everybody who reads this)

Another thing that is awesome is that I am down to the pant size and shirt size 22-24 *gasp* I haven’t seen that size since I was in high school. Whats really gonna shock me is when I get down to the size 18-20 because I haven’t seen that size since I was in middle school. I am beyond proud of myself, and let me tell you now that I am on “real food” its kinda hard finding food for me to eat. I tried steak for the first time last night and it went down fine, granted it was fajita steak, but it tasted amazing. My issue is I love to eat out, and I have been really good and haven’t ate out a lot. I save the eating out as a fun thing with friends and family and I do pretty good browsing the menu finding things I can eat. There should be a bariatric menu in all restaurants. Okay back to clothes I found an awesome consignment shop called ‘Kellie’s Consignments’ and I love how they have all different sizes even really nice plus size clothing gals (not the moo-moo that most second hand stores have) I sense a shopping day there is going to be happening very soon! 

Okay onto some goals I have for this new year, and they are really good! I turn 24 on the 10th of February, and what I would love most to do is visit an art museum some where other than East Lansing. I also would love to travel and stay down to Detroit that  following weekend because I haven’t actually seen any of the cool stuff there before other than the ghetto. I want to be a tourist in my own state, stopping at the little cities on the way down and looking at different stores, try new restaurants, and go to museums (which if you don’t know me I love!) So if the funds are right I am going! I want to wear a size 18-20 or 14-16 dress size to my cousins wedding in June. By then my hair should be long enough to look real pretty, and I want to be able to walk in heels as well. I am going to plan another camping adventure with my friends this summer (buying a tent so I don’t have to borrow one) I also want to visit Lake Michigan, stick my toes in the water, walk the beach, and go swimming. With visiting Lake Michigan I want to see the sand dunes! Flaunt the new body I have with a sexy swimsuit, but not a bikini! My huge goal for this year is to rally the troops up to go to Cedar Point. I haven’t been able to ride the rides like everybody else because I couldn’t fit in them. I am thinking that would be our camping adventure! Also while I am down there, I want to travel and see the Toledo Zoo that would be awesome! As you can see I have quit the list of things I want to do this summer, and unlike a new years resolution I will get see to that I get all of this done!

Well that’s all for my post for now! 

Love

Kaylee     

Hello December!

It is two weeks to Christmas! I most likely wont post another update until New Years, but I cannot tell you how this year has blown by! I barely have all my Christmas Shopping done!!! Well this month has been a tad stressful but also brought a long some blessings that shown up. First thing is that I was graduated up to soft puree foods and toast. I most likely have already talked about this but I am super excited! I cannot express how happy I am to be eating real food even if it is tossed into a blender. I have been experimenting with recipes to make the puree taste a lot better, even posted last week my favorite lunch item. The one thing that is weird is that I cannot eat scrambled eggs but can get down a hard boiled egg. I don’t understand why I can, but the scrambled egg upsets my stomach too much. It is getting easier to for me to eat and drink, still don’t have the hungry feeling like I used too. That wont come back they say which I am happy! But it is getting much easier for me to drink my water so I am getting the mandated 64oz’s a day. I feel like I pee constantly all day, which is good you know my kidneys are a working.

This month has faced some extreme sadness in my family. Both my great uncles who are my Grandma Austin’s brothers passed away on December 6th. My grandma is from a huge family, she is one out of twelve. There are nine boys and three girls in the family. The two uncles who passed was the eldest my great Uncle Versil who was 90 and my great Uncle Louie who was 83 and a year younger from my grandma. Today coming into work I was listening to a song called “Compass” from Lady Antebellum. Here is the set of lyrics that got me crying;

“So let your heart sweetheart be your compass when you are lost

And you should follow it where ever you may go

When it’s all said and done you can walk instead of run

‘Cause no matter what you’ll never be alone”

Now I am not a super religious person, I do attend church once and awhile and believe in God. My great uncles both passed away on the same morning and only three hours apart. These lyrics started to make me cry because I know my uncles followed their compass together and walked the path up to gates of Heaven where they were welcomed with loving arms. I can see it now my grandpa (who passed seven years ago) met them with both a stiff drink and a dirty joke. It is a hard time for the family but I can say I am blessed to be part of such a huge loving and caring family. One thing I was extremely happy was I got to see my great Uncle Louie in the hospital before Thanksgiving and talk with him. I was happy that my grandma, mom, and little sister Lisa got to see him as well. This was the last time I talked with him or seen him before he passed. When we are getting around to leave, we were saying our goodbyes with tears in all of our eyes. It was my turn and he told me when I was leaning down to kiss him that he was beyond proud to see me grow up and become the wonderful young woman I am and that he got to be my uncle.

Life is hard, but having a great family makes certain parts easier. Like I said I am truly blessed!

 

This is my grandmas family!

I have to run and get tissues to dry my eyes. I hope everybody’s Christmas is wonderful!

Happy Holidays!

Love Kaylee

Lunch Today

So today marks a huge progress! I can now eat soft puree foods. So I have been craving mexican food since I started with the all full liquids. So I made a mexican puree with low fat beans and chicken from a can with a sprinkle of low fat mexican cheese. Then put a dash of taco seasoning. Then melba toast to put it on, and some low fat sour cream. All together 20 grams of protein! YUM!

The Super Update!

So it has been awhile since I have wrote, and a lot has happened from the last time! 

I had my surgery, and everything went well. I was under for three hours, and they had some minor problems like taking my lap band off, and the doctor had to make the end of my stomach more narrower than what she normally does. I was in the hospital two days, and the first day was the hardest. When coming out of surgery and back to my room I was greeted by my family and boyfriend. If they couldn’t tell I was really happy to see Jeremy and also my family but still was coming off of the anesthesia was talking my head off and was in a lot of pain. I can’t remember much like what I was saying but I remember the people who were with me. Also it is never fun to start your period right after surgery!! That Thursday was rough because I had my swallow study and puked the liquid they had me drink for most of the day, but I slept so good that night and felt tons better on Friday when they released me. I went back to my parents and stayed the weekend and went home on Monday night.

You would think that right after surgery you would take it easy and relax focus on getting healed. Well for me Saturday evening wasn’t the case, I booked a wedding and went and shot the wedding. I did have help from my friend Deanna and my mom, but my mistake was not having my pain meds with me. So by the time I had to do the group wedding photos I was in so much pain I couldn’t talk. But the photos turned out great! I learned my lesson that night, not to over do it.

Thanksgiving was fun, it was odd not eating food for once but I managed pretty well. The typical scatter of adds for black Friday, and I had to make my list of things I wanted. This year I strictly told my mom and aunt not to buy me clothes other than the typical Christmas Eve tradition of mom getting us girls a nightie. I cant predict what size I will be in by Christmas right now, but at least I will have fun when I can go shopping for clothes. My family went a little insane this year and decided to shop on Thursday night. So, I took the journey of dropping my little sister back up at CMU and venturing back down to my place were my mom was napping. I got to rest for an hour before my aunt and grandma picked us up. I had a blast this year! I normally have a blast whenever I go out shopping with them but this year it was more fun, and enjoyable. By 2:30 AM came on Friday we all were in Sears and I was tired. I couldn’t tough it out for the rest of the day. So they dropped me back off, and I was happy because my grandma and aunt finally got to see my apartment. They liked it a lot, like I do!

Now I am back to work and school, and doing pretty well. The only thing is its hard to force myself to drink or eat, I am not hungry at all which is a new thing for me. I have lost a total of 52 pounds now, and I can really see the changes. Getting back in the swing of things are going to take sometime but at least I am up and doing things now, like decorating my apartment and work for Christmas. Which is my all time favorite holiday!

Thats all I have now, I will write more soon.

Take Care

Love, Kaylee!

Its almost that time!

Tomorrow is the big day! I go in for surgery at 9:30am then it begins at 11:30am. I am beyond nervous right now, but I know it will all turn out okay. My day has been pretty stressful with tight deadlines that work has for me to attempt to accomplish by the end of the work day. I am fried, I have so much homework to finish tonight to be on the ball so when I return to class I will be in an okay grade. So tonight is going to be a little busy. Last night I swam for about a good thirty minutes which felt so good! I cannot express how refreshing it was!!

Thats all for right now, later I will post something more interesting than this thirty second post

 

Kaylee

You are a BEAST…

You are a BEAST!
A wild animal ready to attack!
Powerful & Sexy & Strong
Men and Women want to sleep with you
You can’t conceal your charm
You are an unstoppable force!
Straight-Up Bad Ass!
You totally got this! ❤

I love this quote! I found it on Pinterest tonight while listening to shuffle list on Pandora. The count down is now down to 2 days, and it has been such a growing journey up to surgery date but the journey is not over once I have surgery. This quote reminds me of all my loved ones who are behind me 100%, telling me these things. I finally believe it, some days it was harder than most but I know I got this. I am a straight bad ass with a charm to please myself and the hundreds surrounding me. I have let my negativity hit the road and let in the all the positives. 

ONE Week!

Okay, so I can officially now say that it is one week till surgery!! I have three work days left and a weekend. My plan for the weekend is to take a trip up to Frankenmuth just for fun hopefully with my best friend at my side. This will help calm my nerves before next week, but like all weekends they go quickly. I am getting pretty nervous/excited! But I know that the procedure will go great!

So this week I had a doctors appointment on Tuesday which I found out that I have lost 4.3 pounds since last week which makes my total weight loss at 27.9 pounds pre surgery. I am hoping to loose another 4 pounds between now and then. Going out with a bang before surgery! I am sill on the diet, which has changed to all liquids. I will still admit that it is very hard! I have held my head up high as I face the daily challenges of food, I miss eating. I am not crying over it but I miss it. Soup, shakes, and puddings get tiring after awhile, and loose the flavoring as well. I have picked up different flavored extracts like butter, maple, rum, carmel, and rootbeer; I have made a breakfast shake that taste like pancakes with the butter, maple, and vanilla extracts with a tsp of half & half. It doesn’t beat having the real thing but it come close. I have skipped a family dinner to stay away from temptation, and constantly faced with it at work. They don’t eat the best but its work. The smell of food still makes my stomach growl, but I have water for that to help with. Also I have been craving a McDonalds greasy, no nutritional value whatso ever hamburger but I haven’t broke down to eat one (pat on the back).

I want to bring up something, not really an issue but its for my family and friends if they do read this. I have been posting this blog on my Facebook, and it is open for all to read. I have made statuses saying how excited I am for something coming up in a few weeks, but haven’t explained why I am. Well family please read this also friends read this. This will give you a better look on what I am going through, please respect my privacy and not post on the family Facebook page on what is going on. Also on the day of the surgery do not post “Thinking of you” or “Keeping you in my prayers” I will live through this, but send me a private message, text, or call. I have sent personal messages to people I would like to know. Please let me know if you have questions and I will answer them to the best of my ability. Thank you!

Well I am done rambling for now, next post will be about my awesome supporters I have. You might want to grab some tissues for that one 😉

That’ All Folks!

Love Always,

Kaylee

Just a quick update

Well, today I had a EGD done by Dr. Lane. I had to be up at the ass crack of dawn to be at the hospital on my day off. I was knocked out and she looked at my stomach to make surd there isnt nothing seriously wrong, which there isnt. Mom got to meet the surgeon and chat with her for a few. For excerise today I went to the mall and walked tonight and did spend some money but thats okay. This next week I am officially on all liquid diet which is hard but I can do it.  I need to get creative and make some tasty concoction with the vanilla shake of death. I am doing great drinking my water but I will admit its harder for me to drink it at home for some reason. But as of next wednesday its a week till surgery! The nerves havent set in yet but I am sure they will. That week is sure going to fly by.

 

All for tonight folks!

Love,

Kaylee