Staring at myself half naked in the dressing room mirror at Lane Bryant. I had that moment again. Laying on the stool is size 24 jeans, 46C bra, and size 22/24 shirts. Fighting back tears, I realize I haven’t worn these sizes since high school and also the first year after my first weight loss surgery. I look back at the mirror and here I stand four sizes smaller! Crazy to think about it. This time last year I was barely fitting into size 26/28 on certain things.
I still see myself as the fat kid in school, who always got teased
I am still see myself as the same ole’ Kaylee
But…
I am happier
I am smiling more
Finally loving fashion
And more determined than ever
I still wear my four sizes bigger clothes. They are like a security blanket. A part of me doesn’t want to get rid of them because of the fear of regaining all my weight I worked hard to get off back on. That fear is always present, and haunts me. Another big reason is I don’t have the funds to keep buying clothes. I have started a pile of clothes to donate. I just need to push myself to actually donate them. It’s time to loose the baggage.
A friend of mine made me a bracelet for my birthday with five words that describe me. I wear that bracelet everyday since I have received it. I am thinking of making another bracelet with the five themes of talent that describe me too. Everyday when I feel a little stressed I look down at this bracelet and think of the words that describe me and it makes me find that motivation that I have lost for the day to keep going on this journey.
The words are:
Unique
Independent
Honest
Protective
&
Honest
My five themes of talent are:
Woo
Includer
Input
Communication
Positivity
These moments will come and go
It’s part of loosing weight
Kaylee's Healthy Journey 